Prayers for friends

Late Sunday night we found out that a friend of ours from college passed away. He and his wife were both friends of ours and even gave up getting their Aggie rings (which is a really big deal to us Aggies) and sent us a donation for our missionary life in Honduras for the exact amount of those 2 rings. But there is lot more to their story which I will let you read in this article they wrote for the USCCB's For Your Marriage program:

"In Sickness and In Health

By Matt and Lucy Coles

We had been engaged for 13 months, with 22 days until the big day, when Matt, at age 23, was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We could never have predicted this, with no history in the family and no smoking, but it wasn’t necessary. God was in control, our souls were flooded with peace, and the last 10 months have been nothing less than miraculous.

Matt had major surgery before we headed home from D.C. to Texas for our wedding, and four days after the wedding he had a second operation. Matt came home with some pretty awesome scars and a definitive diagnosis of terminal lung cancer. In the midst of the challenge, the Body of Christ overwhelmed us with love, support and an overabundant dose of prayers.

Along with the diagnosis of lung cancer came questions of chemotherapy and babies. We wanted lots of children, as many as God would bless us with. Our doctors advised us differently. We were asked multiple times if we would like to put sperm in a sperm bank in case the chemotherapy made Matt infertile. Most people on chemotherapy become infertile, and when the therapy is finished there is a 50% chance that it will be permanent. With no discussion needed, we told the doctor this was not an option. One of my greatest longings has been to be a mother, and as it is presented so wonderfully in Psalm 21, “You have granted him his heart’s desire; you did not refuse the prayer of his lips.” On February 16th we found out that we were pregnant. Matt is still going through treatment, and the Lord is abundantly good.

We write this as an encouragement to those who face adversity in their marriage. We can’t express enough the graces that are reaped through the Sacrament. The Lord has granted us many spiritual friends who, though we have never met them, pray for us daily. Through the sacrament and these loving prayers we are able to take our lives one day at a time, not worrying about the things that are to come, but focusing on loving: today, right now, every minute.

When we took our vows on June 24, 2006 we meant every word we said: “I, Matthew, take you, Lucy, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” And in turn: “I, Lucy, take you, Matthew, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”"

Matt and Lucy have shared their life, marriage, family, and struggle with cancer through email updates which we received. And though we've had little contact with them over the years since our graduation from Texas A&M and wedding in June 2003, it is through those updates that we have been privileged to witness such faith, humility, patience, and love from their growing family in the midst of suffering. Daniel and I were (and still are, especially as I read back over their letters filled with comments like the following: "We also found out that as we had expected there are more tumors in Matt's brain. We were able to meet with the doctors here at MD Anderson, one of whom we saw 3 years ago during the initial diagnosis. I know it is hard to imagine, but the appointments were so joyful and each time we came out laughing at how amazing the Lord is! He allows these situations for our joy and not our demise! " ) continually inspired by their life and faith and joy.

The last time we saw them was in August of 2006 when we traveled from Honduras to New York City for a visit to the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. We met up with at a friary for Mass and then went out for pizza only a few months after their wedding and the initial cancer tests and treatments. They were a joyful, cute newlywed couple of whom you would have been completely surprised to find out Matt had cancer.

Their third son was born this past Thanksgiving Day...Matt was able to spend a little over a week with his little baby before departing from this world. He's one of those people you want to canonized right away because you know he spent much of the last 4 and a half years being purified and purged here on earth. You see someone who has lived the daily joys and struggles of married and family life under the burden of a huge cross on his back, yet carried it without complaining and instead with the attitude of St. Paul: "Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church." Colossians 1:24

Matt was one of those people you wished you knew better because in just being around him you feel that his faith would rub off on you, inspire you to get on in living the life of Christ like you only have a year to live, to quit dragging your feet as you go about the daily life of parent and spouse.

Matt and Lucy really lived the unity of the spouses as the Sacrament of Marriage gives the grace to do. They were tested from the beginning to live it by being faithful "in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health." Thankfully, the Mystical Body of Christ will allow them the unity still.

Please pray for Matt's soul and for Lucy and their boys John-Matthew, Pio, and Andrew.

I finish off this little tribute to Matt (and Lucy...for they are always in my mind one) with a prayer that he wrote and Lucy sent out for those unable to attend the funeral.

To live your life, oh Christ - here, now, and with my whole being.
To give every one of my days to You, and with each of my actions to live in Your presence.
To put others before myself - and to give myself for them.
To focus on taking care of myself only insofar as it is an act of love towards you, Lord and towards others - especially Lucy and our family.
To love without measure and without fear.
To be misunderstood by this world, and to love you all the more!

The obituary can be found here: http://www.crowderfuneralhome.com/obituaries.htm