I might as well post...and post some more. This is not my work...but I really agree.
~Taken from the friars' website where they post a daily letter from one of the friars on various topics. ~
January 24, 2007
I recently had the distinct pleasure of celebrating an anniversary Mass for John and Mary. I’m sure it felt more like five years, rather than fifty years ago when they walked down the aisle to the altar to say “I do.” Once again they stood before the altar and renewed their vows—“to have and to hold, in good times and in bad, for richer and for poorer, all the days of my life.” Some of their six children, sitting proudly in the pews, have already experienced divorce, and statistics say their children will probably suffer the same.
Preaching for golden anniversaries and presiding over the funerals of the “over eighty” club is indeed a privilege. The people who stand or perhaps lie in the limelight on their day are often cut from the same bolt. The material they were made of was as simple and unadorned as their names: Bob, Judy, Bill, and Jane. Yet, what name would we give to their weave? Well, that’s easy—“Fidelity!” Yes, the “ John and Mary generation” were tough, hard working, and God fearing; yet the big bolt is now narrow, and will one day run out.
Why do today’s marriages topple over while yesterday’s make the long haul? No doubt the reasons vary, yet one may be related to technology. We have certainly entered into an age when it is more cost effective to dispose of products rather than repair them. Consumers can’t keep up with the technical advancements, and what is cutting edge today is dumped tomorrow. Things are not “built to last,” but built to taste and feel like bread, even office buildings now have a shelf life. If, then, the younger generation is taught to trash dated products, wouldn’t they do the same with people? Besides, if you can recycle a marriage and try again—that’s all the better.
It’s evident the “thick and thin” marriages are being replaced with the “crash and burn.” Although celibate, I hear enough stories behind the screen or in the friary parlor that I could moonlight as a soap opera scriptwriter. Priests know “the story behind the story,” and why wedding pictures find themselves off the wall and into the garbage. The crisis within the ranks of the clergy can’t compare with the adultery, pornography, and abuse of every kind which plagues married couples. Simply put, the big reason why one walks out the front door is because sin quietly slithered in by the back.
Since my certitude is greater than my fear of offending even one reader, I must say the reason why many marriages fail is more spiritual than social. Instead of building a solid life together on the granite of godly principles, many have only packing peanuts to work with, like emotional attachment and good will. I am no prophet, but neither am I an idiot; a marriage built on “me” instead of “thee” must, in time, collapse.
Considering the storms presently at sea, I believe good marriages are like good boats—only the best equipped will stay afloat. Today, if you’re not an ax murderer or pedophile, you qualify as “good.” “Good people” live together, have sex, and at times, even abort—all before “their big day.” Although not churchgoers, they “believe,” although it’s not evident to anyone, even themselves, just what they believe. A church wedding, therefore, is often a concession for the parents, yet at times, even this isn’t an option if a park is more picturesque than the parish church.
Finally, after a meaningful ceremony of sorts, the young couple’s goal is to get “a nice house in a nice area,” and since a big roof means big money, good parents naturally “plan their families”—unnaturally. Contraception is no doubt the silent killer of many a marriage. Few couples realize that by making this popular choice, they unknowingly sealed the fate of their future together, and brought their little “Love Boat” to the bottom of the sea.
Faith is the key to fidelity, a profound truth stated in a most simple way by Mary, who turned and told me: “It was never about the two of us, but really three: “ Jesus, John, then me.”
Fr. Glenn Sudano, CFRMost Blessed Sacrament Friary, Newark, New Jersey
~Taken from the friars' website where they post a daily letter from one of the friars on various topics. ~
January 24, 2007
I recently had the distinct pleasure of celebrating an anniversary Mass for John and Mary. I’m sure it felt more like five years, rather than fifty years ago when they walked down the aisle to the altar to say “I do.” Once again they stood before the altar and renewed their vows—“to have and to hold, in good times and in bad, for richer and for poorer, all the days of my life.” Some of their six children, sitting proudly in the pews, have already experienced divorce, and statistics say their children will probably suffer the same.
Preaching for golden anniversaries and presiding over the funerals of the “over eighty” club is indeed a privilege. The people who stand or perhaps lie in the limelight on their day are often cut from the same bolt. The material they were made of was as simple and unadorned as their names: Bob, Judy, Bill, and Jane. Yet, what name would we give to their weave? Well, that’s easy—“Fidelity!” Yes, the “ John and Mary generation” were tough, hard working, and God fearing; yet the big bolt is now narrow, and will one day run out.
Why do today’s marriages topple over while yesterday’s make the long haul? No doubt the reasons vary, yet one may be related to technology. We have certainly entered into an age when it is more cost effective to dispose of products rather than repair them. Consumers can’t keep up with the technical advancements, and what is cutting edge today is dumped tomorrow. Things are not “built to last,” but built to taste and feel like bread, even office buildings now have a shelf life. If, then, the younger generation is taught to trash dated products, wouldn’t they do the same with people? Besides, if you can recycle a marriage and try again—that’s all the better.
It’s evident the “thick and thin” marriages are being replaced with the “crash and burn.” Although celibate, I hear enough stories behind the screen or in the friary parlor that I could moonlight as a soap opera scriptwriter. Priests know “the story behind the story,” and why wedding pictures find themselves off the wall and into the garbage. The crisis within the ranks of the clergy can’t compare with the adultery, pornography, and abuse of every kind which plagues married couples. Simply put, the big reason why one walks out the front door is because sin quietly slithered in by the back.
Since my certitude is greater than my fear of offending even one reader, I must say the reason why many marriages fail is more spiritual than social. Instead of building a solid life together on the granite of godly principles, many have only packing peanuts to work with, like emotional attachment and good will. I am no prophet, but neither am I an idiot; a marriage built on “me” instead of “thee” must, in time, collapse.
Considering the storms presently at sea, I believe good marriages are like good boats—only the best equipped will stay afloat. Today, if you’re not an ax murderer or pedophile, you qualify as “good.” “Good people” live together, have sex, and at times, even abort—all before “their big day.” Although not churchgoers, they “believe,” although it’s not evident to anyone, even themselves, just what they believe. A church wedding, therefore, is often a concession for the parents, yet at times, even this isn’t an option if a park is more picturesque than the parish church.
Finally, after a meaningful ceremony of sorts, the young couple’s goal is to get “a nice house in a nice area,” and since a big roof means big money, good parents naturally “plan their families”—unnaturally. Contraception is no doubt the silent killer of many a marriage. Few couples realize that by making this popular choice, they unknowingly sealed the fate of their future together, and brought their little “Love Boat” to the bottom of the sea.
Faith is the key to fidelity, a profound truth stated in a most simple way by Mary, who turned and told me: “It was never about the two of us, but really three: “ Jesus, John, then me.”
Fr. Glenn Sudano, CFRMost Blessed Sacrament Friary, Newark, New Jersey
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